Something Positive

So Anime Midwest is over and it blew every other con I’ve ever done out of the water. This is the first con where I figured out how to display my pillows prominently, and I also debuted my very soft pillows, which sold exceptionally well.

It made me realize that I think I found my niche, which is doing pillows. It’s both something that I love to do and make profit off of so I want to hang on to this tightly.

I mean, weirdly enough, unlike everything else I do for cons, I don’t hate making pillows! Yeah it’s a pain and there’s always hiccups because I’m still learning, but in the end it’s very rewarding!

That being said, I’ve long despised being a print artist because of many reasons.

Continue reading Something Positive

Boys Outta Luck is now live!

It’s been a month since I got back from ACEN and steeled myself to creating my new webcomic and I finally publicly released it today.

That might’ve been the fastest thing I’ve ever output from start to finish in the history of EVER.

I uploaded it to Webtoons since I was told this is the in-thing to do nowadays and all the cool kids use Webtoons. I was gonna do it on Tapas too but even though I have 2k subscribers it feels dead to the world and I don’t wanna update in three places so…sorry Tapas?

I’m going to strive to avoid reading comments because they sometimes make me uncomfortable and I’m really susceptible to depression when my work is insulted, because my work is an extension of myself, obviously. And I already have low self-esteem so when people say mean comments I can’t really slick it off my back easily. My impulse reaction is to delete everything when that happens and I don’t want that…

So I thought the best way would be to just… not look at them! what a novel concept. My adblockers already block comments anyway on webtoons so I dont have to do any work!

I really hope people like them… I was able to combine both my love of cute and gore into this comic so I’m really happy with how it’s turned out so far.

Role Models

A long time ago I read some advice that was along the lines of “You shouldn’t publicly self-deprecate yourself because the people who look up to you will see it and it will affect them, too.”

I thought it was sound advice, me being the self-hating amoeba that I am, but then the other thought occurred to me: it was downright arrogant to assume anyone actually looked up to me. So the cycle continued.

That was many years ago. I am older now and this year I’ll be 30. In addition, this year has had a lot of changes and in particular I feel that I’ve become more comfortable in my art shoes, comfortable enough to even post my art process for patrons in addition to start streaming too.

Continue reading Role Models

Shame

For a long time I was afraid to show how I draw pictures cause for most poses I use 3d models. I will throw away a picture if I draw the angle of something slightly off so using 3d to draw complex objects or poses has helped me make art that I couldn’t do before.

I was afraid that people would say, “You’re not a real artist if you have to rely on 3d! Real artists know how to draw X object from any perspective and angle!!!!!!!!” Sure, I agree that knowing how to construct an object at any perspective is an important skill for an artist but… that’s the thing, I’m not that skilled.

So that kept feeding into itself and I told myself that I’m not a “real” artist and etc etc… Even though I saw professional manga artists show their methods of using 3d (like the creator of Gantz to name one) I still felt like I was a failure because I’m incapable of coming up with X pose by myself without the help of 3d, or I can’t draw Y object at some extreme angle.

However I stopped feeling bad recently after coming upon a comic that very, very clearly traces over 3d. It feels really mean to say, but it made me realize that I shouldn’t feel bad using 3D because my art that uses 3d isn’t as obvious as that. I won’t post a picture out of courtesy, but it’s basically as if I had traced the model with my brain turned off.

Continue reading Shame

High off Fumes

Even though it’s been a little over a week since ACEN I feel like it’s been an entire month. Since then I’ve been working extra hard to shit out comics for my new series Boys Outta Luck!, I was thinking I’d been in an after-con slump for at least a month (as it usually is) but I’ve been very productive and have only had lulls in days when my wrist was hurting.

I usually have after-con slumps because I go there and proceed to psyche myself out saying I don’t belong there, I suck, etc. compared to the other artists, then after it’s done I feel like I’ve robbed everyone of their money with their shitty artwork and continue holing up in my house.

However, as I mentioned in my previous post, I got positive reinforcement for my original stuff so now I’m high as a kite on little tidbits of praise and I’m in overdrive mode.

Continue reading High off Fumes

Impulsive Decisions

This is a long-ass post with some thoughts. I put a TL;DR at the end for ppl who don’t want to read my WALL OF TEXT.

When I first started tabling at cons in 2016 the purpose was to sell my comic and only my comic. I did not have any fanart. Unsurprisingly, I did not break even. I thought to myself, “well maybe if I make some fanart it’ll help pay for the booth while I sell the comic.” I did so and churned my first profit. I made more and more fanart until it was my entire table except the small stand that held my comic. Less and less people bought my comic or even gave it so much as a glance as I continued to decorate my table with various fanart pieces, even though I always made the effort to mention it was there for reading to customers. I started losing faith as those people always flocked to the fanart I had created, ignoring the thing that was the centrepiece of my table. I became embarrassed and too ashamed to even mention it now. It felt like a mockery. “Ha ha, look at this loser trying to sell original stuff at his table. Who cares? What a moron.” A dogma grew on me, one that stated that original art was impossible to sell at cons. After all, I only table at anime cons, of course those people want to see anime, how foolish of me. I lost hope and removed more and more original work from my table, even started marking it as free, after all who cared?

Continue reading Impulsive Decisions

[screaming internally about ACEN and con stuff]

ACEN 2019 is in 4 days and I seem to be suppressing my anxiety pretty well. I have no idea how much stock to bring to an event this big but I’m not going to bring my button maker and I’m not sure if it’s a good idea or not. It takes up a lot of room in my luggage and on the table, it also means I have to print sheets of buttons beforehand and -HOPE- they’re used and not a waste of ink.

I made 12 of each of my popular designs and 6 of my not-so-popular designs so I’m hoping this is enough per day. We decided we’re just going to drive the hour back and forth each day instead of getting a hotel. No idea if this is a good move or not but we’ll see. The plus side is that if I run out of something at the con I can simply go home and restock the next day.

At Anime ZAP, I released 4 of my new meme buttons which were an insane hit and I sold out of all the ones I made (about ~10) of them in a single day. This is the only anomaly I’ve had where I’ve sold out of so many in one day. For comparison, at 2018 Anime Midwest, the highest selling button design was bought 10 times through the entire con.

I’ve also bought a new flipbook display for my prints and sticker sheets. At my last con, I had a rotating stand with prints clipped to the top and the idea was you could spin it and take the prints that you wanted to buy off of it. Well, that didn’t work because people were scared to touch it.

With this one, I hope that because it’s an open book, it’s more inviting for people to flip through and look at. The only problem is it does not show holographic prints very well because of the protective cover, so I think I should make a little sign that says “flip up the cover to see the holographic film” but it will probably be a waste of time because no one at cons ever knows how to read and everyone is afraid to touch anything on tables.

Another change of my booth is that I’ve upgraded from a 2-cube high display to a 3-cube high display. This does get in the way of prints on a 6-ft table but if it’s an 8 ft table (most of them tend to be) then it’s all right. But the rest of my table’s setup is just me going “?????? hmm will this fit?????? where will I put this??????” on Thursday and praying that everything will turn out alright.

Cons are scary and I have no idea how I continue doing this shit.

The State Of: A Petal Between

Yeah, so, those anime elf boys I always draw and post with no context? You know the ones. Yeah, they’re from my other project, dark fantasy/psychological horror comic APB.

This is a comic I’ve been working towards since the end of 2017, I have not really spoken much about it because of my anxiety but this project means a lot to me because it’s the first one that is based on me and has a really personal message I want to convey.

When 2019 started my goal was to get the first 10 chapters of APB written and if I succeeded then the next step would be to have the first 10 pages of chapter 1 done.

At this moment I have 7 chapters completed but they need to be looked over/revised because I’m a bad writer. I am hoping to have the comic out by early 2020 at the latest, late 2019 if I’m feeling really bold.

Currently I’m having a tantrum about having to draw the website graphics (and just coding the website in general) so when I get off my ass I will have a huge burden off my shoulder cause the website is always the hardest dang part.

I’m still trying to figure out what kind of style I want for APB, trying to show a moody/bleak atmosphere so maybe a little painterly and less colours. I dunno yet.

Surprisingly, I actually have most of the middle and the end already plotted out. It’s just polishing the events.

Also, this is the first (probably the only one? ha ha) comic that I’m thinking of releasing R-18 doujins for, having a little cold feet about the idea but we’ll see how I feel about it when the time comes. I feel more comfortable about it than my other comics because this comic focuses more in internal struggles, and sex is just one avenue to show what kind of inner demons they’re facing? Meanwhile yes characters in my other comics also struggle internally but for something like Wingless I’m more focused on the adventurey/fantasy parts rather than how much the characters hate themselves, if that makes sense. … But yeah, other than that I just wanna draw porn. Thought about it more, the reason I’m more ok with it is because it’s explicitly stated they engage in sexual activity so it doesn’t come out of left field to make a doujin, in Wingless there’s nothing romantic or sexual in nature in the whole comic so that just feels weird and out of place.

The State Of: Wingless

So the only reason I have a vague fanbase is because of Wingless, I thought I should lay out what’s going on. Here’s the plan so far.

After Anime Midwest in July I am thinking of taking a break from cons to focus on creating comics. Generally it takes a month for me to recover from after-con funk (particularly a big one like this) so I reckon I will probably start drawing pages again in August.

However, we currently have like… half? of chapter 8 written, our writer (and myself) have been in a creative slump for in a while so he will probably need some time to work the muscle while I finish drawing the rest of what’s already written, so there may have to be a break in between.

We are on chapter 8 which I considered a fun, lighthearted episode. I am looking forward to chapter 9 which is when Shit Gets Real. Please look forward to it.

Because I plan to draw more comics too, Wingless’s update schedule may eventually change to every other week instead of every week. This is because I dont know if I can handle drawing APB and Wingless at the same time cuz of my wrist problems.

Also, because the comic is now on the lumiere atelier network, the domain winglesscomic.com will be pointing to https://wingless.thelumiereatelier.com/ eventually.

Since I don’t have the patience to try to port the patreon plugin to this new network, I will have to create/remove accounts via patreon manually. Which sucks for me. But trying to get the patreon plugin to work was fucking hell and i don’t think it works for multisites such as this… so, joy!

Lastly the patreon system will be getting a redo Some Day In The Future where you buy stuff with points you accumulate each month youre pledged.

The new octopus

Welcome to my new blog. I scrapped my previous one for a couple of reasons.

  1. The design was horribly optimized and if you were trying to look at it on mobile, gg.
  2. There was a lot of personal stuff I wrote, which was fine because the only people who knew about it were my friends, but I aim to have this blog more public, therefore those posts shall only exist in my xml export now.
  3. Since it was an archive for my creative work, it took up a lot of space on the back end. Once I started getting more and more into the SOCIAL MEDIAS around 2016??2017?? I pretty much stopped uploading my stuff at my blog. I now compile a list of everything I do in the month on my Patreon for $1, which has proven a good move mentally for me.
  4. A clean fresh start feels good.

I’ll mostly be ranting, con reviews, maybe posting SAD FEELINGS and complaining about the youths.

BY THE WAY- if you are a user on any site of the lumiere atelier network (e.g. patreon account from wingless) you can use it to login here or on any other comic on the network.