Perspective

A friend linked me a post on twitter and in the little promo blurb directly beneath the post was a link to their comic. They said they make 40-60 coloured panels a week, and work 8-10 hours on their comic every day. I decided to check it out.

The first thing that hit me was how simplistic the art was. The lines were rough, the characters were flat coloured with a simple soft shadow over most of them. The backgrounds were composed mostly of CSP brushes that were laid down very quickly. Not that any of this was a bad thing, because of the sheer amount of content that this person has to output.

But when I saw it, I felt… relief. Like a weight off my shoulders.

I felt okay.

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The Power of Not Giving a Fucking Shit

For a long, long time I’ve been deeply disturbed at how long it takes me to make comics. And somehow after five years of making comics I’m still crawling at a snail’s page to crank out a page. Meanwhile comics like Stand Still, Stay Silent update four times a week and continue looking beautiful and I’m like ????????? The fuck kind of alien sorcery is this?????? huh????? how???????

I remember crying about it to other webcomickers on a webcomic FB group several years ago, I didn’t get too much advice on it and I just had to figure it out on my own. That seems to be a common theme. I never seem to absorb anything that anyone says to me. I just have to learn it by myself, even if someone already told me it, I have to be the one to discover it. Anyway, that was the first step I took of not detailing every single fucking rivet in an armour piece, but of course that was just one very teeny tiny step.

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Boys Outta Luck is now live!

It’s been a month since I got back from ACEN and steeled myself to creating my new webcomic and I finally publicly released it today.

That might’ve been the fastest thing I’ve ever output from start to finish in the history of EVER.

I uploaded it to Webtoons since I was told this is the in-thing to do nowadays and all the cool kids use Webtoons. I was gonna do it on Tapas too but even though I have 2k subscribers it feels dead to the world and I don’t wanna update in three places so…sorry Tapas?

I’m going to strive to avoid reading comments because they sometimes make me uncomfortable and I’m really susceptible to depression when my work is insulted, because my work is an extension of myself, obviously. And I already have low self-esteem so when people say mean comments I can’t really slick it off my back easily. My impulse reaction is to delete everything when that happens and I don’t want that…

So I thought the best way would be to just… not look at them! what a novel concept. My adblockers already block comments anyway on webtoons so I dont have to do any work!

I really hope people like them… I was able to combine both my love of cute and gore into this comic so I’m really happy with how it’s turned out so far.

High off Fumes

Even though it’s been a little over a week since ACEN I feel like it’s been an entire month. Since then I’ve been working extra hard to shit out comics for my new series Boys Outta Luck!, I was thinking I’d been in an after-con slump for at least a month (as it usually is) but I’ve been very productive and have only had lulls in days when my wrist was hurting.

I usually have after-con slumps because I go there and proceed to psyche myself out saying I don’t belong there, I suck, etc. compared to the other artists, then after it’s done I feel like I’ve robbed everyone of their money with their shitty artwork and continue holing up in my house.

However, as I mentioned in my previous post, I got positive reinforcement for my original stuff so now I’m high as a kite on little tidbits of praise and I’m in overdrive mode.

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Impulsive Decisions

This is a long-ass post with some thoughts. I put a TL;DR at the end for ppl who don’t want to read my WALL OF TEXT.

When I first started tabling at cons in 2016 the purpose was to sell my comic and only my comic. I did not have any fanart. Unsurprisingly, I did not break even. I thought to myself, “well maybe if I make some fanart it’ll help pay for the booth while I sell the comic.” I did so and churned my first profit. I made more and more fanart until it was my entire table except the small stand that held my comic. Less and less people bought my comic or even gave it so much as a glance as I continued to decorate my table with various fanart pieces, even though I always made the effort to mention it was there for reading to customers. I started losing faith as those people always flocked to the fanart I had created, ignoring the thing that was the centrepiece of my table. I became embarrassed and too ashamed to even mention it now. It felt like a mockery. “Ha ha, look at this loser trying to sell original stuff at his table. Who cares? What a moron.” A dogma grew on me, one that stated that original art was impossible to sell at cons. After all, I only table at anime cons, of course those people want to see anime, how foolish of me. I lost hope and removed more and more original work from my table, even started marking it as free, after all who cared?

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