My birthday was recently. I know I haven’t posted much on this blog this year. It’s because I haven’t really done anything this year or had much to say. Covid really did a number on us all. I would’ve normally liked to post my thoughts on a couple cons I went to for the first time, but yeah, no cons. So I’m just gonna have one long-ass rambling post.
Once again, I’m one year older, and my birthdays just remind me of how far behind I am from my peers, and how I can’t connect with anyone younger than the age of 25. I shake my stick at the whippersnappers and tell them to get off my fucking lawn.
Continue reading I’m Old, again.
A friend linked me a post on twitter and in the little promo blurb directly beneath the post was a link to their comic. They said they make 40-60 coloured panels a week, and work 8-10 hours on their comic every day. I decided to check it out, because I was dumbstruck… 8 hours a day on comics?!
The first thing that hit me was how simplistic the art was. The lines were rough, the characters were flat coloured with a simple soft shadow over most of them. The backgrounds were composed mostly of CSP brushes that were laid down very quickly. Not that any of this was a bad thing, because of the sheer amount of content that this person has to output. The art did its job to tell the story and anything more is just unnecessary polish.
But when I saw it, I felt… relief. Like a weight off my shoulders.
I felt okay.
Continue reading Perspective
2021 Edit: Since people keep looking at this from the main site, I should give my own update, please just don’t expect anything from me anymore, okay? I’m tired. I’m so tired.
All right, here’s the thing. It’s been difficult for me to get back to start drawing Wingless, namely cause I don’t have any fucking time anymore.
Reasoning is, doing cons is now my full-time job. My “full-time job” when doing Wingless used to be… well, only drawing the comic, but cons have started to become actually lucrative for me, so I’ve transitioned into it being my literal job. After releasing my latest product line this year (pillows) I’ve tasted the sweet nectar of Success™ and since then have attended/applied to more and more cons and will continue this upward trend.
That means that 90% of my time spent is creating merchandise to sell, leaving me little time to do any thing else. That also means that I have less creative energy to work on stuff related to drawing, because if I’ve spent all day drawing at work, most of the time I’m too exhausted to draw anything substantial or creative when I’m done with my work for the day. I already barely scrape by doing one Boys comic a week.
Now, I don’t want this post to be DOOM AND GLOOM, so here are some things that I’ve taken into consideration for starting up again, given my situation:
- Because it takes a billion years to draw a comic, I’m probably going to switch to doing flat colours only for Wingless because shading doesn’t really provide anything valuable other than “it’s pretty” (which I’ve talked about in my other post why hearing that shit is cancer to me).
- Building a buffer again will be hard so there probably will be a while between me actually starting to draw it again vs. actually releasing pages.
- I also have to redraw all the characters’ reference sheets and stuff since things have changed in the past year and a half so the way I draw them is different now.
- I’m training an “apprentice” to handle 3d model stuffs for me so I don’t have to spend time setting up scenes. We also spoke about them possibly doing lettering & colouring; though it’s tentative, and I’d have to create style guides and such for that. But, either way, it will take some workload off of me which is nice.
Again I’m sorry for delaying this further, I know people have been looking forward to it but I honestly wasn’t expecting this turn of events in my life. But I believe this is for the better for me, even if it does mean less time for drawing comics, because I can actually, like, make a living and shit off of being a weeb. It’s crazy.
For a long, long time I’ve been deeply disturbed at how long it takes me to make comics. And somehow after five years of making comics I’m still crawling at a snail’s page to crank out a page. Meanwhile comics like Stand Still, Stay Silent update four times a week and continue looking beautiful and I’m like ????????? The fuck kind of alien sorcery is this?????? huh????? how???????
I remember crying about it to other webcomickers on a webcomic FB group several years ago, I didn’t get too much advice on it and I just had to figure it out on my own. That seems to be a common theme. I never seem to absorb anything that anyone says to me. I just have to learn it by myself, even if someone already told me it, I have to be the one to discover it. Anyway, that was the first step I took of not detailing every single fucking rivet in an armour piece, but of course that was just one very teeny tiny step.
Continue reading The Power of Not Giving a Fucking Shit
It’s been a month since I got back from ACEN and steeled myself to creating my new webcomic and I finally publicly released it today.
That might’ve been the fastest thing I’ve ever output from start to finish in the history of EVER.
I uploaded it to Webtoons since I was told this is the in-thing to do nowadays and all the cool kids use Webtoons. I was gonna do it on Tapas too but even though I have 2k subscribers it feels dead to the world and I don’t wanna update in three places so…sorry Tapas?
I’m going to strive to avoid reading comments because they sometimes make me uncomfortable and I’m really susceptible to depression when my work is insulted, because my work is an extension of myself, obviously. And I already have low self-esteem so when people say mean comments I can’t really slick it off my back easily. My impulse reaction is to delete everything when that happens and I don’t want that…
So I thought the best way would be to just… not look at them! what a novel concept. My adblockers already block comments anyway on webtoons so I dont have to do any work!
I really hope people like them… I was able to combine both my love of cute and gore into this comic so I’m really happy with how it’s turned out so far.
Even though it’s been a little over a week since ACEN I feel like it’s been an entire month. Since then I’ve been working extra hard to shit out comics for my new series Boys Outta Luck!, I was thinking I’d been in an after-con slump for at least a month (as it usually is) but I’ve been very productive and have only had lulls in days when my wrist was hurting.
I usually have after-con slumps because I go there and proceed to psyche myself out saying I don’t belong there, I suck, etc. compared to the other artists, then after it’s done I feel like I’ve robbed everyone of their money with their shitty artwork and continue holing up in my house.
However, as I mentioned in my previous post, I got positive reinforcement for my original stuff so now I’m high as a kite on little tidbits of praise and I’m in overdrive mode.
Continue reading High off Fumes
This is a long-ass post with some thoughts. I put a TL;DR at the end for ppl who don’t want to read my WALL OF TEXT.
When I first started tabling at cons in 2016 the purpose was to sell my comic and only my comic. I did not have any fanart. Unsurprisingly, I did not break even. I thought to myself, “well maybe if I make some fanart it’ll help pay for the booth while I sell the comic.” I did so and churned my first profit. I made more and more fanart until it was my entire table except the small stand that held my comic. Less and less people bought my comic or even gave it so much as a glance as I continued to decorate my table with various fanart pieces, even though I always made the effort to mention it was there for reading to customers. I started losing faith as those people always flocked to the fanart I had created, ignoring the thing that was the centrepiece of my table. I became embarrassed and too ashamed to even mention it now. It felt like a mockery. “Ha ha, look at this loser trying to sell original stuff at his table. Who cares? What a moron.” A dogma grew on me, one that stated that original art was impossible to sell at cons. After all, I only table at anime cons, of course those people want to see anime, how foolish of me. I lost hope and removed more and more original work from my table, even started marking it as free, after all who cared?
Continue reading Impulsive Decisions
Yeah, so, those anime elf boys I always draw and post with no context? You know the ones. Yeah, they’re from my other project, dark fantasy/psychological horror comic APB.
This is a comic I’ve been working towards since the end of 2017, I have not really spoken much about it because of my anxiety but this project means a lot to me because it’s the first one that is based on me and has a really personal message I want to convey.
When 2019 started my goal was to get the first 10 chapters of APB written and if I succeeded then the next step would be to have the first 10 pages of chapter 1 done.
At this moment I have 7 chapters completed but they need to be looked over/revised because I’m a bad writer. I am hoping to have the comic out by early 2020 at the latest, late 2019 if I’m feeling really bold.
Currently I’m having a tantrum about having to draw the website graphics (and just coding the website in general) so when I get off my ass I will have a huge burden off my shoulder cause the website is always the hardest dang part.
I’m still trying to figure out what kind of style I want for APB, trying to show a moody/bleak atmosphere so maybe a little painterly and less colours. I dunno yet.
Surprisingly, I actually have most of the middle and the end already plotted out. It’s just polishing the events.
Also, this is the first (probably the only one? ha ha) comic that I’m thinking of releasing R-18 doujins for, having a little cold feet about the idea but we’ll see how I feel about it when the time comes.
I feel more comfortable about it than my other comics because this comic focuses more in internal struggles, and sex is just one avenue to show what kind of inner demons they’re facing? Meanwhile yes characters in my other comics also struggle internally but for something like Wingless I’m more focused on the adventurey/fantasy parts rather than how much the characters hate themselves, if that makes sense. … But yeah, other than that I just wanna draw porn. Thought about it more, the reason I’m more ok with it is because it’s explicitly stated they engage in sexual activity so it doesn’t come out of left field to make a doujin, in Wingless there’s nothing romantic or sexual in nature in the whole comic so that just feels weird and out of place.